


Close Encounters of the Dick Kind

by missberrycake



Category: 3rd Rock from the Sun, Inception (2010)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-01
Updated: 2011-10-01
Packaged: 2017-11-01 13:59:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/357605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missberrycake/pseuds/missberrycake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Arthur Solomon helps his alien family out of a bind.</p><p>Inspired by <a href="http://inception-kink.livejournal.com/17044.html?thread=35139220#t35139220">a prompt</a> on the Inception kink-meme: "Arthur is (somehow) Tommy's son and was raised on Earth after the Solomon's return to Earth from their home planet. Now, his father and his family has disappeared.</p><p>Arthur lost contact with them right after the inception job and finds out that they have been taken by some company who found out their secret/the government (up to you anon) and asks the team for help in extracting the information about his family's whereabouts in order to save them. </p><p>The team finds out about Arthur's family and past and his true identity.</p><p>I just want a fic where Arthur isn't Tommy but is still an alien. The reaction of each team member up to you anon, though I'd love some interactions between the Solomon's and the team. Sally kicking ass and having to be restrained while their captors are just confused by Harry and Dick. Arthur bringing a beat down after seeing his dad strapped to a table or something.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I apologise for the misleading title, there will be no porn-style encounters. Any attempt on my part would turn out more like a tragic comedy than anything else. It’s sad, I know.
> 
> I don’t really know how the timeline is working on this. I reckon I’m just simultaneously pushing ‘Inception’ forward in time a few years and ‘3rd Rock’ back. This is bizarrely down beat for a ‘3rd Rock’ crossover. I don’t know what’s going on with that. Weird. A working knowledge of ‘3rd Rock’ might be helpful, but I don’t think it’s essential.

Eames had never seen Arthur this worried. The Pointman had dragged the Cobb, Ariadne, Yusuf and him into the warehouse in the early hours. Looking out of the window Eames could see the early morning frost settled on the ground. Shivering, he turned back to Arthur.

“I’m sorry for not telling you much before you got here, but I’ve been trying to work it out myself”. As Arthur spoke he rubbed at his eyes. He looked so tired. Eames wondered what he had been doing with himself these past few weeks that could have caused his usually stoic demeanour to shift.

“The job is – it’s on this man. Richard Day.” Arthur pointed to the whiteboard, where a photo of a small greying man was sellotaped. “We need to extract a location from him. Day’s part of a company that are looking into some really advanced technological developments.” 

Arthur paused momentarily and looked around the room. As he licked his lips and breathed deep, Eames braced himself. Whatever was going on, Arthur was nervous. “The company have ... taken a family. The ... They’re from Ohio. The Solomon’s. Three of them have been taken to this location. We need to find the location from Day in order to get them out.”

It was clear to Eames that this Arthur was not telling them everything. He’d known Arthur for a long time now, he would consider them friends, sometimes he’d hoped for more, but before now he’d never felt some much like he new absolutely nothing about the man. 

“Who’s the client?” Yusuf piped up somewhere to Eames’ right.

Eames looked forward at Arthur, where his face was barely concealing his indecision. “Alright”. Arthur sat down in the seat opposite Eames, an intensely serious expression masking his features. “I suppose I’m the client”. 

Now this was getting interesting. Eames leaned forward as the rest of the team looked at Arthur expectantly. Arthur held Eames’ gaze for a moment, before carrying on.

“The family that have been taken are made up of Dick Solomon - father, Harry Solomon - brother, Sally Solomon –sister and Tommy Solomon - son. They work as,” Arthur sucked in a breath and cast his eyes around the room, seemingly struggling for the right way to describe them, “field agents. They have some serious information that the company wants.”

Cobb was scanning through the file as Arthur was speaking. “Field agents? Why would the company be interested in them? It says here that Dick is a professor at the local university. Harry and Sally,” he flipped a page, “don’t seem to do anything. The last one – Tommy, looks like he works in an office. What does this have to do with you?”

“They don’t seem like much, I know, but this company wants them and I’ve got to get them out.” Arthur bit his lip. “Look, this is my family. Tommy Solomon, he’s my Dad.” 

Well that certainly wasn’t what Eames was expecting to hear. Arthur had never before given the impression that he had a family. Of course, in this line of work that wasn’t unusual, but seeing him so upset about it, Eames couldn’t believe he’d ever thought Arthur didn’t have anyone he cared about.

“I’ve been trying to get in touch with him for weeks. In the end I went back home, but there was no trace of him, or Dick, Sally and Harry. I did some work, but I couldn’t get much information. I have to find them and this is the only way I can think of.” 

“Ok.” Arthur looked up towards him, his evident relief a little heartbreaking. “Of course we’ll help you Arthur. If your Dad and your family are being held hostage, we’re not going to just let you deal with it on your own.”

Ariadne nodded vigorously “I’ll do all I can to help Arthur – you should’ve said!” Yusuf smiled serenely in agreement and Cobb stood to take a closer look at the whiteboard. 

“Right. How we tackle him then?” he nodded at the picture of Day.

Arthur ducked his head. “Thanks guys. This really means a lot.”

Cobb turned towards Arthur “Arthur, after everything you helped me through. This is nothing.” Eames watched as Cobb slapped him on the back and returned his attention to the board.

Arthur walked up to Eames, as the team mulled around the warehouse, and spoke quietly “Thanks Eames, for this. I know it’s asking a lot”. 

“Hey, don’t mention it. We’re friends, friends help each other out.” As he watched Arthur’s smile reveal the man’s dimples, he knew that he would do this job regardless – just to meet the person who could’ve raised such a lovely creature.

~

When the planning got properly underway Eames noticed Arthur sticking some more items to the board. As Eames moved closer he could see that Arthur was putting up pictures of his family.

“That them?”

“Yeah” Arthur sighed, “I figured it’d be good for you to know what they looked like”. Arthur’s eyes sunk down to the picture in his hand “This is my Dad – Tommy”, he held it out for Eames to see. 

“Blimey. You’re like a clone!” He really was; the same dark eyes, same smile. 

“Everyone says that” Arthur stuck the picture with the rest.

“What are they like?” 

Arthur grinned, “They’re absolutely insane, Eames. It’s a wonder I made it out at all”. Just as Eames started to wonder at the childhood Arthur had lead, the grin left him again. 

He looked so sad. Eames couldn’t say why, but he felt he needed to do something. He hugged Arthur. To his surprise, Arthur hugged him back, warm and soft, tucking his nose into Eames’ neck.

“I didn’t realise how much I’d miss them.”

“Come on. We’ll get the information from Day, find your family and get them out. No problem.” 

At these words Arthur seem to come back to his senses. He removed himself from Eames’ arms and straightened his posture. Eames could see the top-of-his-game Pointman once more, only slightly worn around the edges.

“You’re right. We need to get to work.” Eames hoped it would be as easy as all that.


	2. Chapter 2

“Alright kid, don’t forget to bring those cans, Harry’s collecting again.” 

That was the last thing Arthur’s Dad had said to him, three weeks ago.

The plan for extracting their location from Day was going well, but Arthur was seriously starting to worry that the team would find out about him and his family. Most people, when they found out about them being aliens, panicked and fled. Like his mother, like Dick’s old girlfriend. Arthur didn’t want Cobb or Ariadne or Yusuf to abandon him. Most especially he didn’t want to scare Eames off. He didn’t really know what exactly was going on between the two of them, but it was so rare for him to get close to a human – the last one being Mal, and look how well that turned out – that he’d do anything he could to keep it going.

As the extraction was to go ahead tomorrow, while Day was supposed to be having some work done on his teeth, the team were all under to take a final look at the layout. 

Cobb approached Arthur when the timer was nearing an end. “Arthur, I’ve been thinking. This extraction is only one layer. With Eames and Ariadne there’ll be more than enough people down here to oversee everything. I guess I’m saying that I think you should stay topside for this one.”

“What?” 

“You don’t have to worry.” Eames’ deep voice sounded over his shoulder, Arthur turned towards him, “We’ll get the information. Besides, you look so much like your Dad, if Day sees you it’ll give the entire game away.”

Arthur new Cobb and Eames were making sense, but he still felt uneasy about giving them free rein over Day. They could find out so much more than his families location. “Alright, but you get in and get out. No fancy stuff right?”

Eames smiled while Cobb agreed “No fancy stuff, just finding your family”.

~

As he paced the room Arthur looked from one sleeping body to the next. When he saw Cobb begin to move slightly he rushed towards the chair. 

“Did you get it?” Cobb removed the needle from his arm before he looked up at Arthur.

A smile creeping over his face a spoke, “Yeah, Arthur. We got it”. Relief like he’d never known before swept through Arthur’s body.

“Fantastic. Where is it? Where are the company keeping them?” 

“They’re being held at some sort of disused airbase a couple of hundred miles west of here.”

“Ok. Let’s get moving then.” Arthur turned around to help Eames remove his line, a soft smile on the Forgers lips, when Ariadne spoke.

“There were some weird things in there about your Dad and your family Arthur” She sounded curious. Arthur froze, staring down at where he was holding Eames’ wrist. 

“Yeah? What kind of things?” Please nothing alien, please. 

“Ariadne, it can wait. We need to get out of here before Day regains consciousness. Everybody get back to the car, we’ve got some land to cover”. Eames’ stood up as he spoke, packing up the PASIV and passing it to Arthur. “Come on”.

Arthur could see from the look that Eames had given him that Eames knew Arthur wasn’t telling him everything. He resigned himself as he checked the coast was clear, he was going to have to tell them and then he’d probably never see them again. Sally was going to owe him big time to make up for him losing all this because of her security breach. 

After they were in the car and Cobb had been cruising the highway for a couple of hours, Ariadne seemed to have considered the wait long enough.

“So, Arthur. Your family. Your Granddad’s a professor, huh? Your Aunt and Uncle are unemployed? Your Dad’s a – what was it? He works in an office?” Arthur continued to look out of the window at the changing landscape. “It’s just weird, because Day kept referring to your Granddad as ‘The High Commander’. And your Aunt’s ‘The Security Officer’, your Uncle’s ‘The Transmitter’ and apparently your Dad’s ‘The Information Officer’.” Arthur could hear Eames shifting uncomfortably next to her. “What’s that about then?”

Time to bite the bullet.

He closed his eyes, “Dick’s not my Granddad.” 

The noise of the road suddenly became louder in Arthur’s ears as the people in the car stayed silent.

“Sorry? I thought that was the reason we were doing this, because we were helping out your family?” he could see Yusuf frowning in the rear-view mirror. 

“We are. Tommy Solomon is my Dad, but he’s not related to Dick, Sally or Harry, not really. They just pretend to be.” He sighed and wondered how best to phrase it, “they’re like- they’re kind of a military unit.”

Ariadne laughed behind him “What? They’re some kind of guerrilla team? What for?”

Just do it, get it over with. Arthur shifted to face the inside of the car. 

“We’re aliens. Dad and the others came to earth years ago to study human-kind and they never left. That’s why the company’s interested in us, because of the advanced technology we have.”

“Be serious Arthur” Cobb stared at him incredulously.

“I am. I know it sounds ridiculous, but that’s how it is. I’m an alien.”

He looked over to Eames. The forger looked as though he was trying to find Arthur’s tick, to see whether he was bluffing. Ariadne shook her head, “fine. Don’t tell us – but don’t treat us like we’re stupid.”

At that moment the car pulled up and Cobb, Ariadne and Yusuf got out. Arthur was still looking at Eames, imploring. “You do believe don’t you? My Dad, Dick, Sally and Harry, they’re in real danger in there – you have to believe me.” Please don’t leave me.

“Yeah. Ok, if you say you’re an alien, then, you’re an alien. God knows, we walk through other people’s dreams on a daily basis; it’s not so far a leap to believe in alien’s right?” he gave a quick smile and left the car.

Arthur was still for a moment or two. Eames didn’t laugh in his face. He just accepted it. He-

“Arthur! Come on, let’s get these guys out” Cobb’s yell brought him out of his reverie.

“Right, I’m coming”. He closed the door and tucked his gun into the back of his trousers. Time for business.


	3. Chapter 3

Since the Big Giant Head had called them back home after they failed their mission, it hadn’t been long before he’d grown sick of their moaning and sent them back. They’d got their old apartment back, Dick got his job back at the university and Tommy had got to go back to college.   
It had been a while after that he met Arthur’s mother, Michelle. They had worked together in the office (a nice, average job, for a perfectly average American human). She’d left after Tommy had told her what they all were, that Arthur was half alien – so Dick, Sally and Harry had helped him raise Arthur without her. 

He’d last spoken to his son weeks ago, when Arthur had been talking about performing Inception. They’d all been pretty excited about it – the PASIV was one of the most advance pieces of technology they’d ever seen on their time on Earth, let alone Inception. 

That had been the week Dick met Mr Allan. 

Mr Allan, who had been so interested in everything Dick said and did. Of course, Dick wasn’t bothered, “He’s interested because I am a magnificent example of the perfect human”, arms spread wide, smug smile plastered on his face. 

“Yes, Dick – but you’re not are you?”

“You’re just jealous because I have a new friend and you don’t”

Tommy scoffed “I’m hardly jealous Dick.” Dick stared him down. “Ok, so maybe I’m a bit jealous – but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s creepy, him asking all this stuff about our past.”

From where Harry was sitting on the arm-chair counting out all the marshmallows in his cereal he added “Yeah. Even I think that guy’s a little suspicious Dick.” 

“Clearly neither of you know class when you see it” and with a spin of the heel Dick left. Tommy still wasn’t convinced in the slightest.

Later that day they were all gathered in the kitchen.

“’In the following pages I shall demonstrate that there is a psychological technique which makes it possible to interpret dream’, yada, yada, yada. Who does this-” Dick looked at the book cover quickly, “Freud think he is?”

Someone coughed from near the back door, “Oh. Hi Allan, come on in.” 

Tommy, Sally and Harry stared as Mr Allan walked into the kitchen.

“Family Meeting!” Sally yelled, dragging them all into the living room. “What are you doing? You brought an enemy into our camp!”

Dick laughed, “Sally, I would hardly say Allan is an enemy,” he begun to move around the room, “No, he’s more of a dear friend, someone to aspire to, if you will.” 

Sally caught him mid-flow, “I’m Security Officer Dick. You should’ve okay’d it with me first.” 

Tommy moved in, “We’ll just make him leave then. Tell him Dubcek doesn’t let strange men on the premises or something.” As they all shot him an unimpressed look, he stressed “Or something, come on.”

Harry turned to leave and saw Allan standing right behind him. He let out a high-pitched scream, gripping Tommy’s arm. Allan smiled, “Sorry. Didn’t mean to startle you. It’s just I’m on kind of a tight schedule, so if we could hurry this up?”

“Hurry what up?” asked Tommy, confused.

“This.” Allan proceeded to shoot all of them with a tranquiliser. Before losing consciousness Tommy spared a few moments to marvel at how he concealed the weapon so well.

~

“...and now we’re stuck here, waiting to get chopped up and examined.” Tommy turned his glare towards Dick.

“Don’t look at me Tommy, it’s not my fault Sally failed as lieutenant.” 

“Failed! If you hadn’t led the guy right in to the house-”

“Minor details, Sally, minor details” Dick waved Sally off with a flick of the hand.

Harry had been in the corner following the path of a two ants crossing the floor of the cell. “Dick. I’m just wondering. How are we gonna get out of here?”

Dick puffed himself up “I have a plan”. Tommy considered reminding him of the no-disintegration of Earthlings rule when he carried on, “I’ll yell that there’s a fire and then when everyone’s gathered at the fire assembly point, we can sneak out unnoticed”.

“That is brilliant!” Harry raised his arms in delight.

It was then that the people guarding them came back into the outer room. They all cowered into the corner, Tommy grabbed onto Harry. He could not see this ending well. 

Harry stepped out to the bars “Excuse me sir. Can I just ask what are you serving for lunch? It’s just I think I might have turned lactose intolerant.” The guard looked Harry up and down before moving off to talk to his partner. Harry, indignant, walked back to the other wall of the cell “I see.”

Turning to them Sally pointed at Dick “Right – you distract them. I dunno, talk to them about your job or something, that’ll send them to sleep. Then I’ll grab the keys and kill everyone who get’s in our way.” 

Dick pushed his hand over his head in salute. Tommy, Sally and Harry saluted back. 

“Ah Dick, I don’t know about this. They all have guns, we’ve just got Sally” 

“Please, Tommy, we’re superior beings. This’ll be like taking candy from a baby” Dick walked forward to where some of the guards stood on the other side of the bars. “Oh my god! Look! Over there – there’s a thing! Go Sally, go!”

Sally kicked the cell door down and they all ran out into the outer room. She squatted and held up her fists, ready to fight. The guards stepped forward, pointed their guns, pushed Tommy down into the examination chair and strapped him in. Well, that didn’t go as well as planned, surprise, surprise.

Dick was being held down by several of the guards, “I am the High Commander. Meeeee! I demand you let me go”.

Harry was having what looked like a conversation with one guard about how best to fix the broken lock, “the problem here is the weak joints, you see...”

Sally, on the other hand, was almost at the door. It was when she tackled the last guard between her and the exit that it happened. Arthur, and some other people Tommy had never seen before, burst through the double doors, brandishing guns of their own. 

Sally stopped in her tracks “Soldier!”

“Hey little buddy” Harry smiled, as though this were a completely normal scenario. As Tommy reflected, he wasn’t far off. 

“Hello Arthur. You took your sweet time.” Dick proclaimed to Tommy’s left. Tommy was just relieved to see his son was ok, that they hadn’t got to him as well. 

“Hey kid. Little help?”


	4. Chapter 4

Eames only had a moment to take in the bizarre image in front of him. His eyes travelled from the ridiculously leggy blonde in front of them conducting some strange twisted arm pose in Arthur’s direction to a man squinting in the corner wearing an amazingly powerfully patterned shirt under his breeches over to a tall grey man staring indignantly at the guards surrounding him and then on to somebody who couldn’t be anyone other than Arthur’s father strapped to a chair in the middle of the room, apologetic grin plastered across his face.

Then Arthur lost his cool. 

It was a sight Eames had only witnessed a handful of times since he first started working with Arthur and it still left him a little stunned. 

Arthur yelled at the guards near his father, “Get away from him!” before shooting the two of them, leaving them writhing on the ground. The guards near the elder man – Dick, that was his name – pulled out their own guns, “Dick, move!” Arthur shouted. He disarmed them with two well aimed shots and ran forward to tackle them to the ground. 

At this point Eames, and Cobb by his side, realised they should probably be helping with this rescue. Before they could reach, however, Eames watched as the tall woman – Sally, his brain supplied – strode past them to take down the other guard. 

As some sort of calm settled, everybody looked over to where a commotion could still be heard in the corner. The other man – Harry – was, well, Eames could only really describe it as performing some kind of dance move. Perhaps in order to scare off the final guard left? Safe to say it wasn’t doing the trick. He spared a glance towards Arthur, whose hair had been adorably ruffled during the fight. Arthur shrugged in his direction. Eames took this as a cue, he picked up one of the fallen guard’s batons and gave the confused guard a whack on the head with it. 

“Is everybody okay?”

“Yeah. Arthur, I actually totally had a handle on that, so you didn’t really need to come bounding in here...” Sally trailed off, twisting her hands “What?”

Arthur rushed over to Tommy, “Dad – are you alright?” and began undoing the straps on his wrists and ankles. 

“Yeah, I’m fine Arthur. What about you? I thought they might have gotten you as well.”

Arthur helped Tommy up and smirked, “Nah. It’d take a lot more than that to trip me up.”

When Tommy smiled Eames realised it was the exact same smile he could get out of Arthur on those rare occasions when the Pointman relaxed. “That’s my boy”, Tommy wrapped his arms around Arthur for a moment, smoothing down his hair. Eames felt a sudden urge to call his Mother. 

Dick turned to Cobb, Ariadne and Yusuf who were standing nervously near the door. Eames smiled slightly at the bewildered expression on dear Yusuf’s face. “I don’t even know what they wanted with us. It’s not like we’re alien or anything” he then proceed to laugh raucously, and Eames decided he thought the Solomon’s were officially fantastic.

“But Dick, that’s exactly why they wanted-”, beside him Harry got cut off with a communal “Sssshhhh!” from the rest of the family.

“It’s alright, I told them. They didn’t believe me.” Arthur assured from where he was standing shoulder to shoulder with his Dad.

“Damn! Why does nobody believe us when we want them to?” Dick exclaimed. 

Ariadne small voice drifted towards them, “So, you really are from another planet?”

A loud clap of the hands gathered all their attentions to Tommy. “This is great, everybody chatting away, but what say we take this lil’ shin-dig over to someplace people aren’t trying to cut us open and examine our brains?” 

“First sensible thing anyone’s said all day. Come on, let’s go.” Eames led everyone out of the room, only having to pull Harry back in the right direction a couple of times.

~

“Oh my god! Your shoes are so cute – where’d you get’em?” 

Sally had Ariadne trapped in the corner of the warehouse for what she had called ‘girl talk’. Eames felt a twinge of guilt at her terrified expression upon being dragged away, but he was far too interested in what the other Solomon’s had to say to attempt to rescue her.

“So – it’s Arthur Solomon, half Human and half Alien. Arthur is your proper name right? We get to know now we’ve met the family.” Yusuf twinkled at Arthur.

“Of course his name is Arthur! Good strong name.” Dick slapped Arthur on the back.

“Oh yeah,” Harry “He’s named after our favourite film, right Tommy?”

“Yes his is.” Tommy added with a cock of his head.

“What film?” Eames asked, eager. Tommy and Harry paused and frowned at him.

“’Arthur 2: On the Rocks’” Then, to Eames’ shock, the two men broke out into high-pitched song, “Once in your life you find her, someone that turns your heart-”

“Alright! Let’s ease them in slowly shall we?” Arthur looked slightly panicked at Cobb’s clearly alarmed expression. “You’re all alright about this, right? You won’t say anything?”

Yusuf smiled “Do you know what? I think it might be pretty fun knowing some aliens, don’t you?” He turned to Cobb.

“As long as none of you suddenly start sprouting tentacles or some weird crap like that. I’m sure I’ll cope.” Cobb laughed and shook his head as he went to save Ariadne.

“Eames?” Arthur asked.

“I already said I’m fine with it Arthur. I mean, it’s the weirdest thing that’s ever happened to be I think, but it’s interesting, you know?” He paused and wondered whether he should say anything, “Of course, now I’ve met you’re family it’s only fair you come and visit mine sometime? See what they think of you?” 

He smiled and nodded to Tommy, Dick and Harry who were all smirking. Harry reached out to nudge Arthur, who was barely disguising a grin. At that Eames heart leapt. He stood up, to give the family some time alone, passing Sally coming towards them (“You guys, she’s so cool – she said we could hang out...”) and left for his hotel room, exhausted.


	5. Chapter 5

Arthur had never laid eyes on such a horrifying sight. His insane family and his insane co-workers getting on like a house on fire. It was unnerving to say the least.

Perhaps most worrying was the unexpected camaraderie between Eames and Sally. After explaining exactly what a forger did and that he had, indeed, forged women, Sally was off. Comparing notes on hair styles and make up and outfits and shoes. Arthur had left them to it. Although, Eames was enjoying himself just as much as Sally, as far as Arthur could tell. He even joined in when Sally started to curse the men of earth for being so unworthy.

Everybody got a bit of a shock when Tommy and Dick started a – well, brawl, really – in the middle of the Warehouse. Arthur believed it had begun when his Dad, once again, questioned Dick’s decision as ‘great leader’ to buddy up with unknown men wishing to examine them under a microscope. 

Safe to say that Dick had Tommy in a headlock at a speed Arthur was fairly impressed by. By the time Tommy could fight back, the rest of the team had gathered round and were looking upon the scene in disbelief. 

“Shouldn’t we stop them?” Ariadne queried while flinching away from a particularly resounding blow to Dick’s stomach. 

“Nah. They never do any serious damage to each other. I think it’s how they show affection.” He replied. Ariadne and Yusuf did not look especially convinced, “Well. I mean, it’s a theory anyway.” He let out a sigh. “Fine,” moving forward, Arthur folded his arms, “Hey! Dick, Dad – wanna kiss and make up? You’re scaring the locals.”

Dick straightened, flattening his hair. “I was simply trying to gain some respect within this unit, I am the High Commander you know!”

“Yes, Dick. We know – you only remind us of it every other day. We’re not even on a mission anymore, so what does it matter?” Tommy scowled in Dick’s direction.

“Great, I’m glad we’ve sorted that out.” Something’s will never change.

While Arthur continued to work on securing the safety of the apartment in Ohio for the family to go back to, without fear of another abduction attempt, he couldn’t help but glimpse from the corner of his eye Cobb and Dick seated conspiratorially to the side of everyone else. 

“So you’re saying you are the world’s greatest extractor?” Dick leaned forward. Arthur raised his eyebrows. 

“I’m saying that I am skilled at the job, yes” 

Arthur whistled at Eames, who wondered over. He tipped his head in the direction of Cobb and Dick just in time to hear Cobb pronounce, “I believe I could teach you. Alien minds can’t be that different to humans. Arthur hasn’t had any problems.”

Eames chuckled deeply, “So Cobb’s found his next project then?”

“I really don’t think he knows what he’s letting himself in for, Dick is a nightmare.” Arthur smirked. He could feel the heat rise in his cheeks as Eames continues to smile at him long after he spoke. “I, um, have to get back to this,” indicating the papers on his desk.

“Sure thing darling. I’ll catch up with you later.” Arthur ignored this sinking feeling in his stomach as Eames walked away.

~

Later, as the rest of the family thinking about leaving for Rutherford again, Arthur was taken to the other end of the Warehouse by his Dad. 

“What’s up?”

“Nothing’s up Arthur, Geez.” Tommy flicked his hair out of his eyes and ran a finger over his lip. “So,” Ah, Arthur thought, he’s trying to be casual. No good can come of this. “You and Eames seem to get on pretty well then?”

Arthur groaned, “Dad! No, it’s not like that. We’re colleges.”

“A college that believes you’re half alien and helps you rescue your alien family? Man, I may not understand humans completely Arthur, but I know that that is a pile of crap.” 

Arthur flicked his gaze up to where Eames was in deep conversation with Dick. “He’s not interested in me that way. Look – I know he flirts or whatever but he wouldn’t want anything serious with me. It’s just stupid to get my hopes up.”

“Bullshit.” Tommy moved closer to Arthur, “You clearly like him Arthur. What’s been going on? Seriously – it’s the rule, you have to tell me all the sordid details.”

Yes. Of course Arthur liked Eames, how could he not? The man was infuriating, ridiculous, unbearable. He was...

“... Dad, he’s lovely. He’s perfect. I just-” he forced himself not to bury his head in his hands, “It’s one thing to say he’s fine with the whole alien thing, but that doesn’t mean he’d want to have anything like a relationship with an alien. He hardly showed any inclination of wanting anything more when he thought I was human.” He rubbed his neck, “I mean he jokes about meeting the family, but that’s all it is to him. A joke.” 

He looked at his Dad and was astonished to see an uncharacteristically unsure look on the man’s face. 

“Kid, look, I know I’m not so great at this whole,” Tommy waved his arms up and down “emotional stuff and I know none of us have a great track record with relationships. But, you know, I am pretty old, Arthur. I’ve learnt a thing or two in my time.” He moved forward and grabbed Arthur’s shoulder, “I think you’re wrong. I think the Eames is serious about you. Man, I’ve seen the way he looks at you.” Arthur was about to interrupt, “Don’t tell me it’s a joke because it isn’t. You are freakin’ awesome kid. He’d be lucky to have you. Even if you are right and he is joking, so what? You’ve gotta go for it. You don’t get that many chances at this in life, especially if you’re half alien.” 

At that moment Sally’s voice cut through the air, “Hey! Come on Tommy, we’re heading off.” Tommy turned to give Arthur a look and ruffle his hair before he moved away. Arthur didn’t know what to think. Maybe his Dad was right. He should just take a chance.

Before Tommy could get too far Arthur started, “Dad. Wait, I-” Arthur stumbled over what to say, “I guess, I dunno. I’m glad you’re alright.” 

Tommy smiled, “Course I am. Got my badass son watching my six, don’t I.”


	6. Epilogue

It had been a couple of months since ‘the unfortunate misunderstanding’ as Dick called it, ‘Dick’s latest disaster’ as the rest of them called it, when Arthur had called up and said he was coming to visit.

When Tommy opened the door to let Arthur in he was surprised to see Eames standing behind his son. “Eames,” he shook hands with the man while turning to Arthur, “Arthur didn’t say you would be visiting too! Isn’t that neat.” Tommy was amused to see his son squirm slightly under his gaze.

“Nice to meet you again, sir.” Sir. He liked the sound of that. “I like the decor, really eclectic.”

He pulled an exaggerated impressed expression as Arthur pushed past him and mumbled, “Shut up”. 

~

Tommy caught Arthur alone later, while Harry had forced Eames to watch TV with him. “Took my advice then?” he grinned, wiggling his eyebrows and throwing an m&m into his mouth. 

“Shockingly. You were actually right.” Arthur smiled softly and Tommy’s heart lifted, “It’s been really great, Dad. He’s really great.”

Tommy threw and arm round his son’s shoulder and walked him through to the living room, “You see kid, you should listen to me more often.” He paused when Eames came into sight, listening politely to whatever drivel Harry was spewing, and considered him for a moment. “None of his relations are Butlers, are they?”, remembering the man from that murder mystery weekend Dick dragged them to.

Arthur gave him an odd sideways glare, “I don’t think so, why?”

“Oh, no reason” and he went to sit down, popping another m&m.

At that moment Sally came into the room dressed in a short dress and heels. “Going somewhere nice?” Dick asked.

“Yeah. Gotta hot date with that guy from the TV repair store. Those glasses just get me every time.”

As she walked down stairs, passing Dubcek sauntering up, Dick yelled “But what about food!” Dick slapped his leg and pointed towards Tommy, “It’s a special occasion - Arthur’s brought his boyfriend to visit. You should cook for us!”

“Oh yeah!” Harry piped up from his seat. 

“Ah. Artie, you’ve come back for a visit. So this is the boyfriend,” Dubcek gave Eames the once over. “Lovely, very nice.” She flicked her wrist holding her cigarette as Eames looked on, bewildered, and Arthur sank into his seat. Tommy felt he should really rescue them. 

“Alright, alright. I’ll cook.” He pronounced, to the unified delight of Dick and Harry, “but I’ll need you two-” he pointed at Arthur and Eames, “to give me a hand.” 

Tommy had never seen Arthur leave a room so fast.

~

In the evening, after they had eaten, they were all out on the roof. As Dick rambled on about the advancements he was making with his PASIV extraction lessons, Arthur maintained that Cobb was slowly loosing the will to live. 

Tommy smiled at his son, with his arm around Eames, and the rest of his family. Being a human isn’t so bad, he thought, it’s actually pretty great.


End file.
